Rogers List: Top 5 Most Beautiful Women of One Piece

Is it hot in this chapter of Roger's List, or is it still summer?

Welcome back everyone to another segment of Roger's List, hosted by yours truly, Pirate King Roger himself. Well guys, with summer almost wrapping up and all, I guess now's as good a time as any. If there's one thing One Piece has never been short of, it's boobs I mean ladies. Yes, we fellas have all had our fair share of embracing our inner Sanji's in enamoration of Oda's seemingly endless harem of gorgeous dames, and there is a good chance many of us will never tire of it.

To address the Funkfreed in the room, yes, some if not many of the women in this series have featured outfits and measurements outrageous enough to make feminists across the globe cry an ocean that could rival the Grand Line. This is true, but if I may make one small defense on Oda's behalf, as sexually exploitive has his female characters may seem on the outside, he does a fair job of making them just as beautiful and inspiring on the inside. Many of these girls are strong, independent, and capable characters that are not here to simply serve as a reward for the male heroes (in fact, there is hardly any relationship building in this series at all, but that's a topic for another day). In addition, some of these women feature dreams and ambitions that are even larger than most male characters in the show. On the other hand, some of them are just plain fun characters with colorful personalities.

So, in a futile attempt to not get distracted by the unlimited supply of provocative fan art that will crop up with the very mention of any one of these character's names in a single Google Search, I'd like to display some of my personal favorites. Here's Rogers: Top 5 Most Beautiful Women of One Piece

#5

Say WAAAAAA!!!

 Yeah, I know what you're all thinking: "Roger! you must be out of your mind! There's no way this drunk, bloated, wrinkled-up prune of a dewgong could possibly exist on this list." Well, to that I say... have YOU been keeping up in the official release of the One Piece manga, and reading all of Oda's questions corners? Because if you have, you may be aware that he recently was asked to draw how Granny Kokoro looked back in her prime.

Check it.

Damn!

As a matter of fact, this is how I myself knew Lady Kokoro back in the day. Remember, her good friend Tom was the Fishman who built my ship, the Oro Jackson.

The sad truth about most mermaids in the One Piece world is that no-matter how exquisite they may be in their maiden years, as soon as their fins split apart around their mid thirties, the rest of their bodies seem to deteriorate as well.While Kokoro was clearly no exception to this rule, she was still portrayed as a fun, fearless, caring mother figure who was reliable in a pinch, and ready to jump right in to the call to action when it came. If you took the loving adventurous spirit of who she was in course of the Water 7/Ennies Lobby Arc (now releasing on DVD as we speak), and applied it to the radiance she had in the past, it doesn't take much to see that Chimney's grandfather (whoever he was) was one lucky man.

#4. Alvida

The first bombshell of them all. Before any of us even knew it.

Number four on my list happens to be the very first antagonist of the entire One Piece series. Iron Club Alvida. Yeah, many of us didn't see this one coming, all things considered. While she's always proclaimed herself to be the most beautiful maiden of the sea, it wasn't till after she consumed the Smooth Smooth Devil Fruit did that title became arguably obtainable.

Apart from her new figure, Iron Club has come a far way since the heydays of Episode One when she was knocked out by Luffy in a single punch. Her new Devil Fruit abilities also allow her to slip pass and evade any blunt force attacks. While she may no longer be a captain, she has found a place as the blunt, clear headed conscience of the Buggy Pirates. And with said captain having now obtained the title of Shichibukai, she is in a comfortable position in a pirate crew that is recognized by the World Government, therefore immune to arrest. It's only a matter of the time before Alvida and a certain former Cabin boy of hers who now serves as a Marine Captain are obligated to cooperate with one another. Just imagine it: They slowly realize they make a good team, and that a lot has happened over the last two years. Alvida eventually sees the speed of Coby's overall progress and begins betting on him to be the one to finally defeat Strawhat, and that staying with a buffoon like Buggy is a lost cause. So she pulls a Jango, and becomes full on Marine under Coby's crew and...yeah, you can probably figure out where the story goes from there.    

Isn't fan speculation fun?

Before any of you begin whining, "but she's such-and-such years older than him!" Two things. One: When has age differentiation EVER stopped ANY sexual tension on ANY anime EVER? Two: It's hardly going to be a problem when you consider how fast Coby is growing up in the series and how Alvida's devil fruit powers give her a body that will never age or deteriorate as long as she lives. (Something our Number 5 certainly can't say.)

So there you have it. Alvida: Not quite the most beautiful, but at least her beauty doesn't have an expiration date.



Before we go any further, I should probably nip this in the butt before people start a uproar about it, so here it goes. I'm...not a Nami fan.

Oh god, what have I done!

Okay, now before all of you decide to execute me...again...let me make it clear, I by no means hate Nami as a character, let alone her place as one of the most important characters of all of One Piece. It's just that in the pantheon of hot One Piece girls, she doesn't quite make the cut for me. I mean sure, she's got a gorgeous wanted poster, and throughout the first season I thought she was pretty cute, and even now still has her moments, but there's just something about her that turns me off from an attraction standpoint. No I'm not talking about her conniving, degenerate, greedy, domineering mentality, or her hellish shark teeth that makes me think she fit right in with the rest of the fishmen, no. I'm talking about the ungodly extensions to a certain upper-mid section of her figure that call to question whether Oda truly respects his own characters and trust they are naturally beautiful just the way they were, or does he care more about pandering exclusively to the young teenage boys he seems so sure are the only demographic reading/watching his material.

Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about.

Yeah sorry Nami fans. I know she's not the only character guilty of this trend, but she did catapult it. Now for the good news. Nami may not have made it, but guess who did?

#3 Nojiko

She's blue...Daba-Dee Daba-Die

Whoever said "Less is More," must have been talking about Nami's big sister Nojiko. You can check the math if you like, but I don't think this character has been in more than twenty episodes. Even so, she had a powerful impact on me. As traumatic as Nami's past was, at least she was given a goal all those eight years to work towards. But to go through the exact same ordeal __witness one of the two people you care for most in the world murdered before your eyes__ only to then watch the second person you care for most be dragged away to take on all the responsibility of fixing the situation, and you are left alone to do nothing but cheer-lead on the sidelines the whole time? That's got to be just as painful.

In our time at Kokoyashi, Nojiko is introduced to have a tough exterior while also possessing a hightened level of patience and sincerity. Whether it be advice to her little sister, reminding the villagers to not be rash and to keep enduring, questioning the competency of the Marines, or informing the Straw hats, she tells things exactly the way they are.

Did I mention how amazing those tattoos of hers look as well? It's often hard to pull off tattoos that will remain beautiful, but hers are a jubilant exception, and her reasoning behind getting them is so touching and admirable. 

#2 Tie

Hmmmm...

...nope. Can't choose!

In the number two spot, we have a bit of a debacle. The Demon Child Nico Robin, and the Pirate Empress Boa Hancock. Two women of almost identical physical features: over six feet tall, curvy, long dark hair, blue eyes, and only a year difference in age. They also share a similar history of both having hardened childhoods that left damaging holes in their hearts that were later revived by our protagonist. Both of these women are phenomenally attractive, there's no argument there. But how are they different, and is one of them truly fairer than the other? Lets take a closer look.

 

Robin's greatest strength comes from her astute mind. She is arguably the most intelligent woman in the entire world. She possesses enough knowledge to scare the world Government into placing a 79,000,000 Berri Bounty on her head when she was only 8-years-old. Since then, she's lived her life as a fugitive, hopping from one organization to the next, leaving very little in her wake. It's no wonder how Robin has managed to manipulate herself into favorable positions. To say she's well spoken would be the understatement of the century. Every word she speaks is dripping with seduction, especially back in the early days when we knew her as Miss All Sunday. This is in no short thanks to some stunning voice work by both her original voice actress Yuriko Yamaguchi, as well as Stephanie Young in the Funimation adaptation. In both versions, Robin flaunts sexuality like a pro, and without even trying.

As the ruler of Amazon Lily, and the lone female member of the Seven Warlords of the Sea, Hancock is easily among the top physically strongest woman in the entire world. (How strong is she? She high-healed Smoker in the face.) Her exterior when we first met her was practically impenetrable. She was a stone cold mankiller. Quite literally in fact, as her powers allowed her to turn any man who looks upon her with lecherous intent into stone. Understandably, the years of her childhood lost in slavery to the Celestial Dragons (quite possibly the most disgusting human beings that ever lived) depraved her of any compassion she had for the world and anyone and anything in it (yes, even puppies... and baby seals). And yet, all it took was a little empathy and some raw selflessness from a single boy to send her entire stone exterior crumbling to the ground. From that point, Hancock became the most adorable character to watch in the entire show. The amount of passion and dedication she places to impress Luffy is so entertaining, mostly because we know how pure of heart Luffy is, and the fact that a woman so beautiful she could have any man she wants chooses to give all her love to him, the only 17 year old in the world who hasn't hit puberty yet, well...you can't help but root for her.

So yeah, there you have it. One's super smart, the other's super strong. One spent her childhood a fugitive, the other a slave. One is quiet and reserved with a dry sense of humor, the other wears her emotions on her sleeve and is humorous because of it. It's pretty much Lemons and Limes at this point, so I trust you all to pick your own favorite.

And the #1 Most Beautiful Women of One Piece is...


The love of my life.

And who else could it be but the mother of my child, Portgas D. Rouge. The only known woman currently revealed to have the middle initial D. A woman so strong, she kept our child in her womb for over 20 months out of sheer willpower. The woman whose love and sacrifice was so touching, that she accomplished what I couldn't. She was the one that ultimately convinced Garp to hide our son's true heritage from the World Government. Even my own son felt he owed her his live, therefore went by her surname, and you know what... I'm not complaining.


...What? You think I would desecrate the integrity of Roger's List by placing my wife in the #1 spot simply because she's my wife? That I was enforced by the laws of holy matrimony to place her on the top spot regardless of the qualifications of the other contestants? Why that's just absurd. Come on Ace, back me up here!
Go to hell, old man.
I love you too, son. By the way, Monet just moved here in the afterlife. Why don't you ask her out?
I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!!!
Oh come on! You were the fire man. She was a snow woman. Opposites attract don't they?
SHE TRIED TO KILL MY BROTHER AND HIS CREW!!!
She was just following orders. Anyway, you try to kill me every day, except we're already dead so it's pointless. In fact anything we did in life is now pointless. In the end, we all turn up here.
GRAAAAH!!!
Hey!  You boys best behaving yourself!
Yes dear. Yes mom.
Good, now why don't you wrap up this article so we can have dinner as a family.

Right. Well... here are a few more favorites of mine that just missed the cut: 

Honorable Mentions

Arlong's greatest crime: having a super hot fortune telling sister who runs a mermaid café, and never telling me?

The first woman to befriend Luffy on Amazon Lily. Careful Hancock.

Usopp, you lucky bastard you.

Forget 'Princess.' Pirate Queen it up, girl!

And that's all I got for you guys. For all the ladies out there who wish to see a List of the Top 5 Most Gorgeous Men in One Piece, well... being a heterosexual man myself, I'm not exactly...qualified to make a list of that nature. However, if there are any women out there anxious to make a list themselves, I'd be more than welcome to give them the floor. Just let me know in the comment section below.

Until next time, I'm Roger, and they just made the list.