Roger's List: Top 5 Dumbest Strawhat Moments of One Piece

"Okay, Okay! I'm Back. I swear."

Hey guys, sorry for the hiatus. Extraneous circumstances have left me without sustainable internet for the last few months. But now that I'm up and running again, let's not waist any more time. Roger's List has officially returned.

I'm sure we are all well aware that One Piece, as brilliant of a story as it may be, is choc full of characters doing inexcusably stupid things. That goes double for our main protagonists. In fact, half the conflicts our heroes run into seem to originate from them making complete idiots of themselves. But which moments exactly are the dumbest of the dumb. That's what I'm here to decide. This is...

Roger's Top 5 Dumbest Strawhat Moments

5. Usopp Goes for a Swim in Skypiea

You know, I thought this guy was suppose to be the smart one.

  

So the Straw Hats arrive at Skypiea and find themselves among a sea of clouds. Upon first arrival, it appears the clouds, at this altitude, act very similar to water, in the sense that creatures live beneath them and ships can float above them, so it only makes sense that people would be able to swim in them, right? So, who among the Straw Hats would be so bold as to test the waters of this theory?

Why, none other than the crew's trademark coward, of course. Yeah, can't say I saw that coming. Is this the moment we've been waiting for: the chance for the Great Captain Usopp to come out of his shell and show us all just how courageous he can be? Or...is it just the day he happen to take stupid pills?

Unfortunately, it turns out to be the later. Ussop's little test swim appeared to be going fine for a little while, until he swam all the way to the bottom of the clouds, in which he proceeded to plummet out of the sky and fall back toward the surface. Well, no shit Usopp, what did you think was going to happen? You're basically going back the way you came, it's not that hard to figure out. Why does you having a fleeting moment of bravery have to come with a trade-off of you also acting just as equally dumb?

4. Franky Blows Up Vegapunk's Lab

If I recall, our fellow writer Sora found this moment especially super.

 

With Bartholomew Kuma scattering each of the Straw Hats to a separate islands across the world, Franky finds himself on a winter island that happens to be the homeland of legendary scientist Vegapunk. After some locals inform him that the scientist's abandoned laboratory my have an icebreaker device that will allow him to navigate off the island, Franky wastes no time fighting past the Marines guarding the place and enters the lab filled to the brim with plans and prototypes of vehicles, weapons, and inventions of every type. Now the locals told him very clearly, DO NOT push the self destruct button. But of course, Franky finds a great big button with a skull and cross bone insignia on it, and of course is like, "Gee, I wonder what this does, DURP!"

Now...Franky made a pretty valid point of questioning why Vegapunk would even make a self destruct button in the first place. So if Oda wanted Franky to activate the self destruct intentionally, than why didn't he just write that? Instead Franky sees the pirate insignia on the button and instantly is reminded of his crew and all their fond memories, as if he is mistaking the button for something fortunate. This moment is occasionally compared to Chopper's backstory way back on Drum Island, in which Chopper reads they symbol in reference to a deadly poisonous mushroom, mistaking it's intention. Only that's hardly an excuse, because at the time, Chopper was only an 8-year-old boy. Franky is a grown ass man (35 years to be exact) he should know better.

I suppose it's worth mentioning that Franky blowing up the place did ultimately reveal the entrance to the secondary laboratory, but that was just dumb luck. There is no way Franky would have known that would happen. And there had to be proper entrance to the second lab hidden somewhere. Right?

3. Vivi Blabs the Bosses Identity

Seriously, who makes a mistake like that?

This one is so dumb, it's hilarious. The Straw Hat's discover that the Baroque Works member that lead them to Whiskey Peak, Ms. Wednesday, is secretly the Princess of Alabasta. She has slipped undercover to infiltrate Baroque Works to identify the organization's leader, codenamed Mr. 0, in an attempt to find out the culprit responsible for instigating a feud between her people's royal army and the rebel forces that threatens an all out war. The Straw Hat's get wind of this plan of hers, but not wanting them to get involved she tries to keep it under wraps, but then she...kinda... well, in a nutshell, this is how the conversation goes:

Vivi: Please don't make me tell you who the boss is!
Nami: We won't. In fact, it's none of our business. We don't even want to know.

Vivi: Oh good, because if I told you guys that the boss is Crocodile, one of the Seven Warlords of the Sea, you'd all be in big trouble.

Nami: Oh, you mean like you just did right now?

Vivi: (GASP!) Did I just tell you that boss is Crocodile, one of the Seven Warlords of the Sea, in my attempt to tell you it was very important for you NOT to know that the boss was Crocodile, one of the Seven Warlords of the--

Nami: JUST SHUT UP ALREADY!

Luffy: Does this mean I get to kick Crocodile's ass?

Nami: You won't get the chance, cause I'm murdering you idiots in your sleep!

Yeah, that was pretty dumb. I mean, if Vivi was the kinda girl who was intentionally trying to get the Straw Hats involved so that they would have no choice but to escort her to Alabasta and the process she gets the protection she needs to get home and stop Crocodile's plan, than I would say she was actually quite clever, if not a little deceptive. But as she is, she's simply a pure heart who would give her own life in place of anyone else, though do to her naive nature, she rarely thinks anything ahead and in process get's in a lot of trouble, thus needs to rely on more competent friends to cover her ass. Gee, that doesn't sound EXACTLY like our main character at all.

2. Zoro Get's on the Wrong Ship

Yes Zoro, we're all well aware how badass you are. Still doesn't excuse how dumb this is.

Believe it or not, Zoro was the first of the Straw Hats to arrive back on Sabaody Archipelago at the end of the time skip, at quite the surprise of just about everyone. For a start, one could have only presumed that perhaps the Straw hat's swordman and unofficial first mate may have learned some much needed manners in the art of punctuality and a sense of direction. Unfortunately, this turns out to be nothing more than wishful thinking, seeing as Roronoa of course cannot occupy himself for a couple measly days to wait for his other crewmates to get here before wandering off and getting himself lost again, and this time is quite possibly the dumbest means yet.

Zoro asks a local to borrow his boat so that he may go fishing. The man agrees and directs him toward his boat docked off a neighboring peer. Only Zoro mistakes the mans boat for the pirate ship adjacent to it. Wouldn't you know it, Zoro falls asleep on the ship just before the Pirates who own said ship come on board and set off for their adventure toward Fishman Island, so that when Zoro finally wakes up and realized how much he's screwed up, he has to cut the ship clean in half, breaking the ships coating and causing it to float back up to the surface.

Now, I understand the reason for this scene was so that we could see Zoro pull off a move we originally saw his master and rival Hawkeye use against Don Krieg's ship way back in the East Blue arc, and in and of itself, it is a neat callback. But in order to set it up means that Zoro would have to be so bafflingly clueless at to not be able to tell the difference between a common fishing boat and a full scale pirate ship. The difference in size should be more than enough, but did Zoro really not notice the black pirate flag on the top of the mast, or even the huge pirate insignia painted on the sail? Is he that heavy of a sleeper that he wasn't woken when an entire pirate crew started marching onto their ship and getting ready for their adventure? And then on top of that, we discover the only reason Zoro made it to Sabaody before everyone else in the first place is because Perona took him. Figures.

And the Number One Dumbest Strawhat Moment is...

While it is very true that Luffy could make up a Hall of Fame dedicated to all his brain dead moments on the show, by this point we're all numb to it, to a point where none of them feel all that out of character. However, it wasn't always like that. In the past, many of us have tried to rationalize his actions by claiming there had to be some method to his madness or that his naive nature simply came from sheer innocence and inexperience due to no formal education. But there was always that one moment. That One thing he did that made us all throw our hands in the air, give up, and declare, "This guy is just an idiot." For me, it was this moment. Upon the very eve of the Staw Hats very first voyage into the Grand Line, Pirate Captain Monkey D. Luffy rips off the mast of his own beloved ship TO STAB A WHALE WITH IT!!!

I hope it was worth it buddy.

You know... for someone who has trained and prepared for their journey to be a pirate for ten years, why would they hinder their journey so profusely by permanently and irreparably defiling their own ship just to pick a fight with a whale? Regardless of his intentions, was it really worth it? As of the time of this article, we all know the Going Merry is doomed to collapse from all it's wounds in about 200+ episodes from now, but honestly, should any of us be surprised? If anything, Luffy should consider himself lucky Usopp's impromptu patchwork was decent enough to get the ship running at all after this stunt, let alone make it a third away around the world to Water 7.

Honorable Mention: Shirahoshi knowing Hordy was the culprit behind her mother's death and not telling anyone.
Yeah seriously, I will never get over how dumb that was. The only reason this didn't make the list is because I've already ranted enough about it in my Top 5 Reasons Why Fishman Island Flopped list.

So that's my list of the Dumbest moments from One Piece. Heaven knows there are plenty more where that came from, so if there are any moments you found particularly dumb, feel free to share in the comments below. Also, if you have a recommendation for another Top 5 One Piece topic for me to tackle, I will most certainly add it to the list.

Until next time, I'm Roger, and these dunces just made the list.